Homie, Thy Name Is Data

In an attempt to wind down a few days ago I happened to catch an episode of Star Trek TNG. It was the season 7 episode “Parallels” where Worf returns from a bat'leth tournament to find that he’s jumping through different realities. Data helps him figure out what’s up and how to fix it when everyone else on the ship thinks Worf’s been smoking syntha-crack. It was there that I began to realize something I knew all along but never quite put my finger on. Everyone needs a homie like Lt. Commander Data.

We often see him struggle with humanity, emotions and love but without fail, time and time again he demonstrates his overwhelming ability to be a solid dude.

“Hey Data, I’ve got this problem that no one else thinks exists can you help me?”

Data fixes your problem.

“Hey Data, we need a volunteer to go to some hell hole of a planet where angels fear to tread. Are you down?”

Data is down.

“Data, here’s a hypothetical time/space problem that no one in the galaxy has experienced. Can you decipher the mysteries of the universe for us before the ship ‘sploads?”

Data solves for Y.

Without comprehending much about the human condition he understands the Homie-System completely. He doesn’t leave you hanging and forever has your back. This is what's called a solid dude. What does he ask in return? Very simple. Feed his cat when he’s away, check out his art, listen to his music (sometimes sporting 45 minute pauses here and there) and work on some jokes with him. That’s it. That's the price he demands for being the best friend latinum couldn't buy.

Everyone needs a Data.

16 Responses to "Homie, Thy Name Is Data"
  1. Craprica says:

    too true my friend. data is my favorite next gen character.

  2. Yorick says:

    Sean, we all know you were actually (unconsciously?) thinking ‘Chuck’ when your were writing ‘Data’ in this post 😉

  3. gafra says:

    U forgot to invite him to the odd poker game and he’s a pal for life. Just ask Riker and co.

  4. storyknife says:

    Best Data line ever:

    “Baby needs a new pair of shoes.”

  5. Lampmonster says:

    Not to mention he knows when to say “to hell with our orders” and do the right thing. Most humans can’t do that. Or keep a secret for decades without giving a hint. Hell, Data was better than human. He even chose repeatedly to die rather than let a friend knowing full well that the friend would never ask it.

    # Yorick Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Sean, we all know you were actually (unconsciously?) thinking ‘Chuck’ when your were writing ‘Data’ in this post 😉

    No.

  6. nmdrkangl says:

    you forgot…

    Drunk on some funky water molecule caused by high gravity and need to get laid?

    Data’s got your back.

    And your front.

  7. beast says:

    for years I did all that stuff…..OH FUCK I’m Data

  8. Rohtaga says:

    Not to mention, he’ll tell you how to take his head off. How many people do you know that would do THAT?

  9. matt says:

    if everyone needs a data, then everyone should do their utmost to be a data. i’f you’ve got your friends back then chances are good they’ve got yours.

  10. kroga says:

    dude my uncle is friends with the guy who plays data

  11. Sydney says:

    Maybe everyone needs a Data, but no one needs a Spiner.

  12. dutchbob1 says:

    soooo…. just get an Asperger hooked on blow as your next BFF and you’re in business, I presume.

  13. Shaun says:

    Really like this post. Sums up perfectly who Data is to the crew and what a “solid dude” should be. Put so simply, yet elegantly. Hats off!

  14. mos667 says:

    Data is most definitely the coolest character.
    Too many awesome moments in TNG and the movies;
    When he gets his emotional chip and starts making music out of the control pad looking for “lifeforms”. My personal fav.

  15. Rob says:

    Data is the ultimate shiznat. Not to mention Brent Spiner is from Houston TX which is practically my home town :).

  16. Guy says:

    I just wish I had any friend 🙁

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