I think Vampires and Vampire stories suffer from a bit of an image problem. Yeah I know, that sounds funny, but it’s true. I often hear people say Vampires are disgusting or that the stories are limited in their scope because all vamp tales are the same. In my most humble of opinions these are folks who must not have much imagination. There’s tons of badass stuff out there if you care to look, so I wanted to post up a quick slam course in Vampire and why they’re cool. Don’t worry, this won’t be too painful.
I’m a huge fan of MMORPG’s (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) and have been for years. A few years ago I saw an ad for Eve Online and decided to see what it’s all about – and I’ve been playing on and off for a few years now. Eve isn’t just a flight game or a techno shooter or even an MMORPG, it’s a mirror of life with the restrictions removed and set 20,000 years in the future.
I know what you’re thinking: You’re thinking, “Did he just use Dug as an excuse to put a picture of his dog on the blog?” Yes. Yes I did. I saw Disney/Pixar’s UP today and still couldn’t get enough of Dug the dog. Hence the plushed out Dug sitting with my bestest friend Talat.
I can’t overstate the awesomeness of Dug and his high-tech translator collar that lets him speak human but there was also a beautiful story about life, love and what’s important while you’re living it, in the film as well. Pixar seems to weave these statements into many of the movies they’ve undertaken.
This is Dug. Dug is the impossibly lovable dog in Pixar’s new movie UP which opens 05.29.09. If you haven’t seen the trailer it might be easy to miss Dug’s sweet collar. Of all the Sci-Fi devices I’ve ever seen or even heard about - this dog to human/human to dog translator collar is, by far, the first one I’d have if I could. More than a cloaking devise or even a light saber, I’d want my bestest friend in the whole world to be able to talk to me.
It’s a strange thing, this aging. I was watching the Futurama movie Bender’s Game the other day when I started thinking about my first D&D experience (now twenty years ago) SSI’s Curse of the Azure Bonds. Admittedly, the cover of the box is what caught my eye. “Chick’s in low cut chainmail? I must know more.” Of course the box was the only thing with low cut anything on it but it didn’t matter. Ten minutes into the game my life had changed forever, I knew it then as I know it now – I was into Dungeons & Dragons.
Twenty years of dragons, role playing and nerdly pontifications later I felt a need to play Curse again. There was some difficulty finding a 5.25” drive and a fun discovery that my machine now is lightning on a leash compared to the turbo 286 I explored the world with back in the day. However, a little time and a little help from Mo’Slo and I was back in business, old school style.
I don’t have a big ass projection system at home. I do have some good sized TV’s here and there but my siblings and I are getting older now and our eyesight doesn’t work out as well as it did when we were all eighteen. To combat this minor factor we strung my 360 up to a set of 2.1 computer speakers, grabbed my sister’s projector and cleared a spot on the dinning room wall for a little game time.
Well, to be exact we cleared a spot big enough for a 154 inch picture – my bro and I busted out the tape measure cuz we just HAD to know. [sniff] Bragging rights being what they are and all. Yeah, it was huge. No crazy screens, theater style seating or surround sound but we did have the biggest picture any of us had ever played Halo on and that’s what counts. We are hoping to do the same thing again tomorrow for some serious game time now that we know the setup works and how to rig it up.
Ahhh, a zero dollar solution to a non-existent problem… life is good.
I hate my smile. It always looks to me like I should be onstage with my brothers Simon and Theodore – singing at double speed. So I normally scowl, it accomplishes several things, people leave you alone and no chipmunk-cheeks. How I feel about my appearance didn’t stop me from grinning like an idiot the entire weekend of the meetup though. Why? Because for the first time in as long as I can remember I was in crowded rooms I felt completely comfortable in.
I didn’t notice it at first but about three quarters of the way through the final BSG episode my wife Shannon (Mrs. Sean) leans over to me and says, “You’re so relaxed considering the crowd you’re in. I figured you’d be a wreck by now.” It was then I knew that for the very first time I was in a room packed completely full of good friends and family. Sounds sappy I know but it’s totally true. I stood up and went to the side of the room where I was sitting and took a picture right at the moment so I could remember it. The whole rest of the weekend I kept looking around trying to burn the scene and faces permanently into my brain.
My homie David0207 sent me a link to a trailer. I viewed it. A bloodlust roar started in my gut and worked its way to my throat. My arms were pumping in the air before I knew what was happening. My head tilted up and the fury of sound escaped. Viewed from outside my body you might surmise a Klingon is passing into the next world.
Terminator Salvation is coming.
View the new trailer. Then look me in the eye and tell me this wasn’t worth the wait. Tell me this isn’t what the world needed to be whole.
I leave it to you.
Terminator Salvation [Yahoo Movies]
Generally we don’t cover a ton of fantasy on the cast but I’m a huge fan of anything with magic, swords or dragons in it. Legend of the Seeker has all three. As well as hot, Florentine fighting guardians, wise-cracking wizards and a sword that’s thousands of years old.
My favorite character is the afore mentioned wizard named Zeddicus Zu’l Zorander (Zed) who many years ago played the rather kooky chopper pilot Jedediah the Pilot from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. At first I wasn’t sure how he’d pull this type of role off but as it turns out he does a bang up job.
If you’re not a fan of the show let me give you some general info that might help you engage. First off, the style is very much like Xena or Hercules. It’s the same location and crew. The graphics/effects are better and the casting as I mentioned works out great. It’s a total fantasy type story. You know, a young lad learns about life, falls in love with a girl he can’t have and wields a magic sword in the name of justice and truth. The thing is, it works. Always has.
Swords and magic don’t do it for you eh? How about a Mord Sith? As I understand it they’re always on the lookout for a solid date and are willing to bring you back to their place. Of course there are a few down sides like excruciating pain, the torment of your friends and life in a dungeon – but on the whole it may be worth it… that outfit is killer.
Legend Of The Seeker [Website]
It’s a great thing when the virtual world lines up with our own real life personalities. Playing through on Fable II the second time (slightly less angelic than my last run) my character was recruited by the Assassination Society. One of the first contracts was my favorite.
This fine pic is a death warrant. The guild wanted this menace put down… publicly. My character was only too happy to oblige. What’s her crime? Always correcting other people’s grammer. [heartfelt sigh] This is a group of people after my own heart.
It was quite a pleasure to complete the contract. Laura – and her constant corrections – were silenced on the streets of Old Bowerstone with a single shot from my augmented master pistol. I totally had a Pulp Fiction moment. Standing there with my golden pistol shining in the sun with half a dozen witnesses looking on my character shouted, “Correct my pronunciation one more frakken time.” Then kicked off the safety and fulfilled the contract.
Let this stand as a notice to all those who relish this twisted practice, your time is at an end. The uneducated, unwashed, uncouth, bastard children of bad communication skills have something for you. And we deliver… publicly.
In an attempt to wind down a few days ago I happened to catch an episode of Star Trek TNG. It was the season 7 episode “Parallels” where Worf returns from a bat’leth tournament to find that he’s jumping through different realities. Data helps him figure out what’s up and how to fix it when everyone else on the ship thinks Worf’s been smoking syntha-crack. It was there that I began to realize something I knew all along but never quite put my finger on. Everyone needs a homie like Lt. Commander Data.
We often see him struggle with humanity, emotions and love but without fail, time and time again he demonstrates his overwhelming ability to be a solid dude.
“Hey Data, I’ve got this problem that no one else thinks exists can you help me?”
Data fixes your problem.
“Hey Data, we need a volunteer to go to some hell hole of a planet where angels fear to tread. Are you down?”
Data is down.
“Data, here’s a hypothetical time/space problem that no one in the galaxy has experienced. Can you decipher the mysteries of the universe for us before the ship ‘sploads?”
Data solves for Y.
Without comprehending much about the human condition he understands the Homie-System completely. He doesn’t leave you hanging and forever has your back. This is what’s called a solid dude. What does he ask in return? Very simple. Feed his cat when he’s away, check out his art, listen to his music (sometimes sporting 45 minute pauses here and there) and work on some jokes with him. That’s it. That’s the price he demands for being the best friend latinum couldn’t buy.
Everyone needs a Data.
It takes me a while to plow through books. Mostly because I have roughly 12 active hobbies at any one time and have to steal time form the others to pursue one. Back in May I started reading the first book in a twelve novel series about a space fairing star captain named Honor Harrington for no other reason than I needed a book to read on a plane. Since then I have devoured every one of the 12 books in David Weber’s “Honorverse.” Coming out the other end I can honestly say it was the most fun of any series I’ve read as an adult – by far.
Not being a gifted wordsmith myself and I’ve never been good with book reports. I can’t push out an eloquent summary about the balance of pace and narrative like Audra and couldn’t speak to the validity of the political constructs within the universe like Chuck could. I can tell you this stuff whoops ass ya’ll.
Honor, the main character, is a space captain in what turns out to be an intergalactic war, a big one. She’s got a telepathic cat named Nimitz who’s smarter than most people and a badass sense of duty. Later she also has a husband… and a wife. Sounds funny but it works out for all concerned. The way I normally explain it to folks is, “Think Horatio Hornblower but in space – and a chick.”
There’s way too much for me to explain all of it but really there’s all manner of space battles, death, betrayal, politics, sex and plain old fashioned beat down’s. In short it’s a fun time. If you find yourself needing a new series to check out and you dig big-ass ships blowing the hell out of each other, this is your ride.
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