I was feeling a bit under the weather, and for once it was raining all weekend so I was stuck inside. When this occurs, a rather grumpy monster forms inside my brain that craves new media. Be it movie, anime, or game, I must consume something. I happened to have some Microsoft points gifted to me (as I tend to hoard all gift cards and points for explosive spending binges like this) so this seemed like a good time to spend them. After seeing an ad for Crysis on the Xbox 360′s feature link for instant download, I decided to take the plunge and see if it could amuse me for a while. There are no words for what I’ve been missing since 2007.
Most of you have prolly seen this hotness already. If so, please just shake your head at my slowness and move on. For the rest of you — check it, you’re gonna want to see this if you dig first-person shooter games with a story — you know, at all.
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The 2011 GWC meetup is coming to a close as I write this. This very minute the weary meetup goers are headed to find some stew at the last outpost of the weekends activities while others slowly gather themselves for the long voyage home. For the third year running I feel the need to express my admiration for the group that is my extended GWC family.
This year was almost split evenly between old friends and new but that neither slowed the pace or the enjoyment. If I had a greater gift with the written word I might be able to fashion an adequate mental image of how everyone blended so gracefully into the fray of our annual social event with a speed calculable only by extreme digital equipment.
We mentioned in the cast a while back that I had an original Tron movie bit for the arc but it never went anywhere for two reasons, the audio I recorded for it sucked horribly and it wasn’t that funny anyway. So instead, I give you a quick overview of – Ten things I learned from Tron.
10. When planning a major felony chicks in high heeled running shoes always up the ante.
9. Further proof that writing chess programs leads to AI with massive megalomania issues.
8. No matter what the circumstance, anything that happens after the sentence “Bring in the logic probe!” isn’t going to end well.
7. When a computer states “I can run things 900 to 1200 times better than any human.” be afraid.
6. One can lead a rich and happy life only speaking the words yes and no.
5. That is a big door.
4. Never write a bunch of tank programs. In the long run it won’t be good for you.
3. Stealing from someone smarter than you can go south in a hurry if they decide to descend to your level to get even.
2. Lightcycles ya’ll, lightcycles. Nuff’ said.
1. The MCP did have a heart. It actually invented the amber alert system way before its time. Don’t believe me? Check this out, “30-56-99 are correct. Limited 4 and 8 are missing.” What we see here is the MCP’s plan to empower at least 99 operatives to locate bits that are missing. May the users bless little limited 4 and 8 and I hope they found their parent programs.
It’s interesting that after seeing Tron Legacy some of the characters going forward learned the same things I did. Kind’ve makes me proud really.
As I reflect on the past three days it is immediately apparent that the GWC community is still a source of constant amazement for me. Once again our tribe gathered to reflect on the past year and revel in each others company and once again everyone rose to the occasion.
It’s a strange thing – it was as if no time and decades had past between the annual meetup spawn points. The kindred spirits of the friends we had met were as warm as ever and new faces popped up to take the places of others that could be with only with their digital presence. Yet again a simple joy found its way to our mugs.
Normally action games aren’t really my style but in this case Bayonetta has more style in general than you can shake a really sexy stick at. In this world, Heaven and Hell had the out and out battle of the ages throwing hell into the loser’s bracket – which put the world out of balance. Fresh from a nap under a lake for 500 years Bayonetta, the last true Umber Witch, intends to fix that. How do you put the world back in balance you ask? Why by killing angels of course – this is the awesome! Continue reading »
I realize that I’ve already posted about Dragon Age Origins recently but there is something of great note I discovered a few days ago – there is a playable dog character. That’s right, take a gander at my new pup Bronx.
He’s a playable, levelable character just like any of the others. I named him after Bronx from the show Gargoyles. It’s kinda fitting since they are both about the same shape and look fierce but are really sweet pups. He’s mostly tan colored but this is right after the battle in which he joined the group so he’s still got blood on him – he is a war dog after all.
Only Fable II came this close to character perfection but was just a hair off the mark. I vowed to uncover every war dog quest and level him to the utmost without delay. My strategy for playing just became much easier, no more storyline just for progressions sake. My strategy now will be, “How does this help Bronx?”
I can now forgive BioWare for letting you switch paths in Mass Effect 2 – I have a new puppy!
Dragon Age Origins [BioWare]
Part of the Xmas loot this year was Dragon Age Origins for XBox 360. Both my brother and I got a copy and spent the day after playing it up. After spending about 8 hours with the title I can say without fear of contradiction that Bioware is becoming my favorite developer. Oh, and did I mention the chick in the above image is voiced by Claudia Black? Yeah, hotness.
I’m a big fan of fighting games. It’s something of a lost art here in the 21st century. The console has largely killed the tightly-packed throngs of teens waiting their turn at the controls of the latest button-masher. It is my most sincere hope that Tekken 6 helps turn a bit of that around.
True to my word, I picked up a copy on release day at lunch and had the fidgets the entire rest of the day ’till I could crack what I was sure was fighting nirvana on a disc. To my great relief I was rewarded with perhaps one of the most balanced and deep fighting games I’ve played in close to ten years. Not since Tekken 3 have I been this happy with a fisticuffs title.
I finished the storyline for Halo3 ODST this afternoon and to sum it up in two words – it rocked. I didn’t quite know what to expect and it took a level or two to get my bearings but in the end I think many will agree with me.
The first thing you must remember is; “You are not Master Chief, you are The Rookie.” And in the beginning, being the Rookie is kind of a bummer. Your jump is about half what the MC’s is and though the 7 foot tall Spartan can handle two weapons at once The Rookie cannot.
When I first made the jump to an iPhone I was very worried about becoming one of the pod people who can’t put them down. As it turns out, that’s a total non-issue — however, I did find a bunch of sweet, downloadable, free games from producer Storm8 that are wickedness personified.
There are seven games in the Storm8 arsenal: Kingdoms, Vampires, World War, Racing, iMobster, Rockstar and Zombies. Each has its own unique setup and bend to the overall game play but if you learn how to play one, the others will quickly follow.
I thought I could resist — I really tried, honestly, but Fable II was calling me. Even after the engrossing social aspects of Eve, I still felt the need to download the new “See the Future” expansion pack for Fable II. It’s a sickness really, a wonderfully crafted sickness.
If you’ve played the game at all, even for a few minutes, you’ve met Murgo the trader. He’s the guy who sold you the music box at the very beginning of the game. Well now Murgo is back and hanging around the Bowerstone town square with his stock of cursed magic items that just happen to take you to other worlds. Each world has a few problems that need someone like you to help fix them. Commence with the fun!
Warehouse 13 premieres tonight and I’m kind’ve stoked about it. Every time I see it I’m absolutely positive somebody had the same thought many of us had when watching Indiana Jones when we were a kid; “What the hell is in all those other crates and what do they do with them?” Now – we’ll know!
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